Darkness
by Phoebsfan
Summary: What if? Max leaves Seattle and Logan because she can't deal with the virus. Started as a post-ep for POP took on a life of its own. R/R I will love you forever. AU M/L EDITED AND POSTED AS SEPERATE CHAPTERS THIS TIME ROUND.
1. Leaving Seattle

Darkness  
  
Disclaimer: nope don't own them. I am perfectly happy with James Cameron's version of events as long as he doesn't place everyone on a sinking ship.  
  
Rating: what the hey I'm going for a G  
  
Summery: What if? Max leaves Logan for a new life because she can't take living without touching.  
  
Spoilers: Up and through "Proof of Purchase"   
  
  
  
Chapter 1: Leaving Seattle 1/7  
  
I'm alone again.  
  
I never thought that this would happen. It was like Original Cindy said things would come correct cause me and Logan had it like that. At least I thought it would be like she said. But I'm finding more and more like pieces of my past seem to hunt me down and destroy everything I've spent the past ten years trying to build.  
  
So I'm some Golden child. Manticore's prize guinea pig. I wish I wasn't.   
  
I wish for a lot of things though. Wishes just seem worthless now.  
  
For the first time in my life I wanted to kill someone. Sure I've had the feeling that it would be possible but tonight I wanted to mutilate Alec. I wanted to torture him. I wanted to hurt him more then he had hurt me. But then I realized that would make me like him and I turned away. It wouldn't fix the problem and it wasn't really his fault, he couldn't have foreseen what happened but I hate him just the same.  
  
I could have been over at Logan's. I could have been in his arms.  
  
Alec ruined that for us.  
  
Why am I not surprised? Why am I slightly relieved?  
  
I try not to think about that. I find I'm trying not to think about a lot of things lately. I try not to think about what Logan and I had. I try not to think about what Zach did for me, I try not to remember that it's his heart beating in my chest. I try not to think about how I almost killed Logan or how I lead countless others too their deaths by releasing them from Manticore. But mostly right now I try not to think about Logan's face when I told him. How his heart seemed to drop to his feet and how he tried to reassure me that it would be ok, these thoughts cloud my mind and make me feel that I am alone all the more.  
  
The space between the two of us is like an ocean growing everyday. It's too much and it's too hard. When I see him I want to run to him but I remember to do so would be to kill him and I stop my foolish actions. At times I forget and do something stupid, like dinner earlier this week.  
  
For about the millionth time in my life I wish I were normal. But then I remember that I would never have met Logan if I were normal.  
  
I reread the crumpled paper he had given me as I left him.  
  
  
  
My Angel taken, lost  
  
In darkness I fell  
  
When she came back she did not take my hand  
  
She could not take my hand  
  
But I follow, in shadow, hope for things lost  
  
  
  
I imagine her mine  
  
In darkness I hoped  
  
When she came back she would take my hand  
  
But she could not take my hand  
  
Now the space grows too wide for one of us to cross  
  
  
  
I want…touch her face  
  
In darkness I long  
  
For when she can take my hand  
  
I know she'd take my hand  
  
If only time weren't crossed  
  
  
  
My angel I feel you leaving  
  
In darkness I know clear  
  
This life we were weaving  
  
Knotted, torn   
  
Come back when you can  
  
Come back take my hand  
  
In darkness I wait evermore  
  
  
  
He knew me far too well. He knew I wasn't coming back any time soon if ever. But he had such faith in me. Maybe I'm not the hopeless romantic type but I'd like to think that he's right about me. I'd like to think that Original Cindy knows what she is talking about.  
  
  
  
Be careful Max.   
  
  
  
He added at the bottom of the paper. Funny how that is always the last thing out of his mouth. As if I didn't know what I was doing. Well truthfully I don't know what I am doing but… I guess what is really funny is the fact that I'm going to miss those words. They always seemed to mean more coming from him.  
  
From my perch on my bike I turn around once more to look at the city I had called my home for so long. I can picture what everyone I know is doing. Original Cindy and the gang are chilling at our usual. Normal is being well Normal.   
  
As a chilly Seattle rain sets in I can see Logan at his window looking out. Maybe he's got one hand pressed against it. Maybe he's standing there with his forehead against the cold smooth surface, eyes closed not seeing anything. What ever position he is in, I know he is at his window waiting.  
  
I turn my back on the city and gun it as the wind drowns out my whispered words.  
  
  
  
I will Logan. I will.  
  
  
  
  
  
She's leaving. As I stand with my hand pressed to the glass of my window I realize that we are losing this battle. I guess I knew it all along. I felt her slipping from me from the moment she came back. If I could hold her here I would. But I can't, she's not mine to hold, maybe she never was.  
  
I close my eyes and rest my head against the cold hard glass of the window. It's raining now and she's long gone. I can't seem to tear myself away from this window. I can't seem to do anything but remember that she's gone and that I may never see her again.  
  
I don't know yet if it was easier when she was at Manticore. Believing she was dead put some sort of closure on it. Knowing she is out there, knowing I can't be with her, that is something I had never planned for and I don't rightly know how to deal with it.  
  
I want to bury myself in work. Eyes Only saves the day again, that sort of thing. But strangely enough I can't motivate myself enough to move to the computer. Maybe tomorrow. Right now all I want is to sit here and wait.  
  
I know it's only because part of me still thinks she is coming right back. Part of me doesn't want to believe that she is really gone. Part of me clings to the hope that this was just an awful misunderstanding. I know that part of me is wrong. She won't come back unless we can be together safely. She won't come back unless she wants that.  
  
I don't even know if she wants that anymore.   
  
Slowly I come to realize that I've left some music on. It's a Jewel song that's playing now. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder what happened to Jewel.  
  
"Dreams last for so long. Even after your gone. I know you love me, and soon I know you will see, you were meant for me and I was meant for you."  
  
The song seems to match my mood but it angers me and I tear myself away from the window to shut it off.  
  
That's when I start to rage against Alec.  
  
After a good rant at the scum I head back to the window to wait.  
  
Tomorrow I'll look at the notes that Max left. Tomorrow I'll start looking for another scientist. Right now I'm just going to sit by the window and let the rain clean up the mess.  
  
I know she's someone's angel. I can only hope one day she'll be mine. 


	2. Boston, where hair doesn't frizz and tra...

Chapter 2:Boston, where hair doesn't frizz and trails never go cold 2/7  
  
  
  
"It's been six months boo. You at least owe him a line or some mess. Not to mention the rest of our sorry-"  
  
"We've been over this before. And if you weren't my boo I'd hang up on you." I joke cutting Original Cindy off. Yeah I'd been gone for six months. Yeah every day I thought about calling them all and telling them where I was, especially Logan. Thing was though I didn't want any of them knowing where exactly I was.   
  
This is the second call I'd placed to O.C. and it is only cause I need to talk to somebody. This silence is driving me insane. I never thought I'd miss having a close friend around all the time. But I do. After six months on the road you get down and since O.C. has always been like a ray of sunshine in this otherwise drab world I figure it is worth risking the call.  
  
"Where ya chillin boo? Or is that still straight up none of your sista's business. Cause I gotta say that this mysterious vibe of yours is all good but Original Cindy needs more of the down low if ya know what ya boo is gettin at."  
  
There it was. Everyone wants to know what I am doing and where I am. Well I am not doing much of anything besides moving around and hiding from everyone; Picking up a job now and then in towns along the way. I can't stay anywhere for long. I've seen how determined Logan can get when he is looking for something. And from my training at Manticore I know that everyone leaves a trail, I am in no way excluded from that.   
  
Sure part of me knows that Logan wouldn't come and hunt me down. He hadn't even asked me to stay. Jury is still out on whether or not that hurts. But I know that he could and I guess that's what has kept me on the run.  
  
"You know I'd love to come clean with you boo but I aint hangin round here for long anyway. I'm heading out tomorrow."  
  
"Sure Sugar. Original Cindy's not gonna get down on her knees and beg like a fella. She ain't even gonna bring up the fact that she can keep it a secret from her boo's shorty."  
  
"I bet she can. If it is really that important to you I'm in Boston." I lie; I was in Boston a month ago.  
  
"Sugar you trading one apple for another. What's Boston got that's better then this hole?" I have to smile at her comments and remember once again that there really isn't anyone else quite like her.   
  
"Less rain. What can I say my hair gets all frizzy and its hell to comb through." There is a fight over the phone and before I know it someone else is on the line, the sounds of an angry O.C. and a busy Jam Pony in the background.  
  
"Max, Max is that you."  
  
"Yeah Sketch." he sounds slightly like an annoyingly hyper seven year old.  
  
"Normal has it seriously in for you when you come back. Said he doesn't care where your scar is and even if you have a million doctor's notes you won't ride for Jam Pony on his watch. I figure you're a shoe-in." I wonder how to answer this flippantly when I hear O.C. in the background and another struggle for the phone.  
  
"Give me that phone fool. You gonna kill us all wid that idiotic excuse for words you throwin out." I can't help but chuckle at that.  
  
"I take it you haven't told them."  
  
"Told them what boo. You coming back point blank aint no fella on earth like your fella. Aint no fella on earth can keep ya way. Short you stepping up to the all girls team, you coming back." I don't have the energy to argue back. I wouldn't be able to change her mind anyway.   
  
"That Max, tell her she's fired, and your five minutes are up. Hot run. Don't stand there wasting space move, bip bip bip." Normal's voice came through the receiver.  
  
"Same old Normal." I comment  
  
"Same old Subhuman Specimen. Listen Max keep in touch. I aint got no tragic love affair wid ya. An I aint got no reason to hunt ya down, only to make sure ya don't go to butch on me. Straight up, you aint got no reason to shut us all out."  
  
"Yeah. I gotta jet."  
  
"Cya Boo." and with that she hangs up the phone. Yeah I wish I could see her, she could make sense of this mess.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Logan I'm sure she's out of Boston by now."  
  
"Yeah she was probably out of Boston long before she told Original Cindy. That's not what I'm looking for." I reply to Asha's exasperated remark. Honestly I wish she'd stop hanging over my shoulder and babysitting.   
  
"What are you looking for then?"  
  
"I'll know when I find it and if I am in the mood maybe I'll tell you. Which I don't think with happen. Don't you have something better to do then hang around here all the time?" maybe I crossed a line but I was really getting sick of her comments. The whole "Logan she's gone.", "Logan you aren't going to find her.", and my favorite, "Logan she isn't coming back." charade has gone on long enough.  
  
"Logan, she obviously doesn't want to be found. I mean she-" I cut her off.  
  
"Asha, you don't know her. You don't like her. And your too busy trying to get me to give up on her and force your way in to be subtle. Honestly I don't enjoy your little lectures and I don't need them. When you have information for Eyes Only then you can come back. But if you are going to sit here and tell me what to do you can leave." well I feel a little better after that but she doesn't seem to get it.  
  
"Logan, look at you. You hound her old friends; spend nights tracking down any obscure lead you can find. Logan you even tapped the phone at Jam Pony. This can't be good for either of you. I don't care who she is. I don't care what you two have been through. You aren't doing your job. You aren't doing anything but going crazy locked up here in your private torture chamber. Come with me to Crash tonight. Get out of this apartment. Get her out of your head. She is gone. You aren't going to find her. She isn't coming back." Should I give her a standing ovation?  
  
"Encore. Bravo. No really it was good stuff. I almost felt like maybe you meant it in an unselfish way. Now if you'll excuse me the exit is that way and I have work to do." I say turning around toward my computer.  
  
"Logan.-" I turn back around quickly and cut her off angrily.  
  
"Asha I meant it. As we sit and exchange pleasantries her trail is growing colder. I've managed to follow her to Boston and if I lose her there it's because of you." I accuse coldly. "Leave." Finally she nods and leaves. I am not going crazy. I am doing my job. And I am not going to lose her now. Maybe I should go to Crash tonight. Original Cindy might have more information on her whereabouts. 


	3. Hope, only in dreams

Chapter 3: Hope, Only in dreams 3/7  
  
  
  
Eight months. It feels like an eternity. Eight long months and still there is no one. Still there is nothing. Maybe Logan has had better luck with finding a cure. I can't call him. I could technically, there was nothing stopping me physically from picking up the phone and dialing the number seared into my heart. I just can't make my hand and my head understand my heart, or something like that.  
  
I've settled down into a nice little place in Virginia. Its a small town and it reminds me of the town Logan and I visited, Cape Haven if I remember right, which I always do. For years I've run to the cities to get lost. With their crowded and impossible situations it was always the best place to hide. I don't know why I'm staying here; maybe I want to be found.   
  
I have an apartment, a job at a little dinner, a car, I even have some friends but it isn't the same. My apartment lacks a certain someone, my job lacks the freedom and is dull as all hell, my car doesn't ride like my bike did and my friends aren't the same. I should be happy I have everything that anyone could want. Safety, security, and I could have love if I wanted it. Plenty of guys have tried. But short of my heat cycles I don't want to touch or see another guy again.  
  
I have dreams at night, when I sleep that is. I dream I'm back in Seattle playing cat burglar to Logan's Eyes Only. I dream that I never left, that Manticore never won, and that Logan and I are together overcoming all odds and smiling in the face of danger. I dream of a perfect life.   
  
I've kept in contact with Joshua after I ran into him a few months back. Seems he's had better luck. He wasn't ready to be released into the world. None of them were. Hardly a day goes by that there isn't a headline in the news about some mutant. I guess that's one of the reasons I like this small town. News from the cities travels slower. Still everyday I wake up regretting my choice to let them out. Most of them are dead or captured now anyway I'm sure.  
  
Slowly I'm giving up on the past and creating a new life. My friends all tell me that time will heal my wounds. Not that they know about my wounds. I never told them the truth. They think Logan is dead, to me he is. They don't know I'm some genetically engineered killing machine. They don't even know my name is Max. I'm going by Hannah now days. Still every night I go home and tell myself my name is Max, Logan isn't dead and that I have to find a scientist to help me. Max, my name is Max. Some days it works better then others.  
  
Hannah, my name is Hannah. I lost the love of my life to an unfortunate illness, I held him in my arms as he slipped away. I have an apartment in Hope, Virginia. I work as a waitress in a dinner. I have friends. Zoe is a fellow waitress and a sympathetic ear. Whenever I talk about my lost love Luke she gets all misty eyed and gives me a hug. Claire also a fellow waitress lives at home with her sick father and her dog Angel. Emily is Claire's daughter and incredibly cute, her father was killed in a riot over food three years ago a month before she was born. Michael runs the local bar; he inherited it from his father who also died in the food riots. This is my life now.  
  
Max is only a dream.  
  
  
  
  
  
Eight months. Asha hasn't bugged me about my insane little quest since I sent her away two months ago. Instead she tries her hardest to be good to me and do what I want. I think she just humors me because she wants me. Her pity drowns me sometimes and I have to leave the room and escape.  
  
I followed Max to New York and lost her after that. That was a month ago and I have no real hope of finding her. She really is gone. And yet life still goes on.  
  
The days seem to blur together somehow. I never remember anymore what day it is and so I got a watch with the date on it so that when Asha asks if I know what day it is I can tell her. It cost me a ridiculous amount of money but it saved me from more of her pity and those looks of condemnation. I'd buy a million of them if they could make her disappear every once in awhile.  
  
But that is mean. Asha only wants what is best for me. She watches out for me more then she should and at times she is a great person to talk to. It's only when I get lost in one of these moods that I talk bad about her.  
  
Today I'm in one of those moods. Today is a bad day. I found a copy of the medical notes that our Manticore scientist made up. I still haven't found anyone else to develop a cure and even if I had there would be no way now for me to contact Max about it.   
  
I want to hold her again. Thoughts like this pop into my head a million times a day.  
  
I want to hear her laugh.  
  
I want her sarcastic criticism.  
  
My life without her is hollow. The whole city of Seattle wonders what happened to the great Eyes Only. Has he lost his will to live? Why does he hunt for more trouble? Why does he seem to dig for danger? He never would have risked it all a year ago.  
  
He had reason to play it safe a year ago. He had reason to live a year ago.  
  
Sometimes I hear noises and think that she has come back. I think she's picking my lock or revving her bike. What I'd give for a phone call, just to hear her voice.  
  
At night I dream she is still here with me. We talk and laugh. I cook and then we play chess. She hunts down the bad guys and I run Eyes Only broadcasts with pride and life.  
  
This is my life now, an assortment of bad dreams all culminating in one awful mix of days, broken only by my freedom and release at night when I have the woman I love in my arms.  
  
But I wake up and the shadow in the background is from my chair, the bike on the road is not Max's and the lock picking is in my head. Max is only a dream now. 


	4. Baltimore, the last thing I expected

Chapter 4: Baltimore, The last thing I expected 4/7  
  
  
  
Claire's father died last week and so she took Emily and moved to Baltimore with her brother-in-law. So now in exchange for some mail service I am watching Angel. Claire sends Original Cindy a letter through Baltimore and I watch Angel until they get settled.   
  
Angel is a nice dog, clean and well behaved. I told Claire about Logan. She hasn't had any accidents yet and she keeps me from feeling to down about myself. She sure is lively though. It's been nice having a reason to leave the house besides work. Angel and I go for walks all the time. And yes I am trying to avoid the fact that I told Claire about Logan.  
  
I did a very stupid thing in telling Claire about Logan because she convinced me to write him a letter, which I stupidly did. He should get it any day now, if he doesn't already have it. Postal service isn't as reliable as it once was, or at least that is what they say.  
  
Just when I was adjusting to living without him I go and do a stupid thing like that. Still a part of me gets excited thinking he might write back. Then the other part of me says, No he has Asha now.   
  
Well Angel is begging to be walked and I am tired of thinking about it. O.C. would know what to do. I miss them.  
  
  
  
  
  
Logan,  
  
It feels so good to say your name out loud. Sometimes I do that you know. I don't know why I am writing this other then to tell you I'm ok and that...that...that the search for a cure is a bust so far. I've got a good life here. I hope your doing well. Do you know how incredibly awkward this is? I don't even know why I am writing this. I know I probably won't send it. There are so many things we never got to say. So many reasons that I had to leave. But you know that. You've always known that. How is it that you can see me so clearly but when it comes to you I can be so clueless? Well I have to bounce. Say hi to Eyes Only for me if you see him...(flashes a big smile)  
  
Your Cat Burglar,  
  
Max  
  
  
  
I reread it in disbelief time and time again. There is a return address on it and Original Cindy said that Max could get mail through it. She's going to come back. I know it. 


	5. Hope, Hannah and Luke

Chapter 5: Hope, Hannah and Luke 5/7  
  
  
  
The best cat burglar in the world,  
  
I don't know I felt like starting this one different. It being our three-month anniversary of letter writing today. As always your last letter made me laugh out loud as you described the comic way in which Michael asked you out. You never mentioned if you said yes though. I think you should, Hannah needs to get out more or they'll think she's a hermit. Eyes Only or should I say Luke is already being accused of that very crime by more then a few people. I'm sorry about Angel. I know you miss her. Still nothing in the search for the cure, you? I'm tired, last night I couldn't sleep at all knowing that you were out there somewhere hurting. I wish I could come and hold you. One day I will you know. If only my arms could reach now. I want to call you. I want to hear your voice. It's been a year since I've seen your face. Can you believe it's only been a year? It feels like eternity. Well Hannah, Luke says to tell you that his misses and loves you. Oh and Max, I love you too. But I know blah blah woof woof right. Gotta blaze.  
  
Love always,  
  
Logan  
  
  
  
  
  
The worst chess player of all time,  
  
Following your example. I did go out with him actually. Our date lasted exactly three point two four seconds. Apparently he's allergic to cats and he had some sort of weird reaction when he tried to hold my hand. Thank you God for my feline DNA. Of course I had to tell him I had a cat and wouldn't dream of giving it up so he had better find someone else. Is Luke being reclusive again? Asha wants you.... to spend time with her. Sorry couldn't help but hesitate there. No seriously you should date other girls Luke or Seattle will think your a hermit. Turn around is fair play. No on the front for the cure. Last night I dreamt I was back in Seattle...well you know how that one goes. Hey you will never guess who I bumped into the other day. Bling. Strange but he has family out here did you know that? It was really weird let me tell you. Well I've got work in five so gotta jet. Blah blah woof woof  
  
Love,  
  
Max  
  
  
  
  
  
Hannah,  
  
Can we forget the past? I don't regret what has happened to us. If I had to do it over again I would gladly. If I could I wouldn't change the past. Sounds strange but "The universe is right on schedule. Everything happens the way it's supposed to." I know I've used that phrase before and that the universe has had an awful schedule for us, but you need to know I wouldn't give up one day with you. I would do anything to have everything be better. I want so badly to start over with you. I want so badly to have you back. Why is it easy to write to you as Hannah? I've asked myself over and over again. I finally figured it out though. Hannah hasn't seen the darkness that Max has. Hannah hasn't fought an impossible fight against her past; Max still fights it everyday. I don't dream every night about Hannah, Max haunts my dreams and my days. Hannah and Luke don't have anything that can hurt them now. Hannah and Luke could be together if they wanted to, no Frankenstein virus haunts them, taunting their every move. When I write to you as Luke I can say things that Logan could never express. So here goes Hannah. Life is hollow. A brief spin on this planet, in this destroyed country, and then its over. With you by my side, life had meaning. It didn't matter that we weren't like that because we both knew that we were and one day would be. We completed each other. Hannah I've looked for that for a long time. From the first time you dropped by I knew you were special, that some how you would save me. Thank you Hannah for saving me. Again and again you've kept me safe and you keep saving me now even though your thousands of miles away. I still feel you. I still need you. And I still love you. I always have loved you and I always will. I know one day you'll come back. Eyes Only still needs his cat burglar. If I've learned one thing, I've learned that everything changes and nothing stays the same. My love for you changes too. You've gone from goddess to angel to best friend to soul mate. And I thank God everyday that he brought you crashing through my skylight.  
  
Forever,  
  
Luke  
  
  
  
Luke,  
  
Can you tell me why I am doing this? I am so tired of not loving you. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to play these pretend games. Max and Logan writing each other love letters like nothing changed. You said yourself that things change. Well things have changed. I ran into Alec the other day. It threw me at first but he is honestly sorry and has spent the last year and a half searching for someone to complete our cure. Luke, screw it, Logan, I don't know what to do. I have a life here. I have friends, dreams, and plans. Hannah doesn't want to leave. But Max wants to run to you. Max is tired of this charade. Max wants to play chess with Logan. Hannah hates chess. But Hannah knows what Max pretends to understand. Hannah knows that Max loves Logan. Hannah knows how Max cries for what she needs and misses. Hannah has that hope that someday somehow she'll see and be with Luke again. Can I be Hannah and Max at the same time? Do I have to give up the normal life that Hannah has? Hannah loves her normal life but Max, Max has problems accepting it. Max wants more then this normal existence. She thought she wanted a normal life. But a normal life isn't enough now. Logan, can you forgive me for leaving? I know you understand why I left, probably better then I do, but that isn't enough, just understanding. I know why you never asked me to stay. And I'll admit that it hurt. But you knew best, by not asking you saved us both. I gave Original Cindy my telephone number and asked her not to tell you until I was ready to talk. Logan I think I'm ready to talk. Listen to me. I'm not the same girl you knew. It would be foolish to pretend I was. I'm going to tell O.C. to give you the number. But I'm also going to ask you not to use it until I call you. I know how hard it will be. I've spent a year and a half with your number and I think that I need to be the one to call you. You know I've read that poem you wrote a million times. I have it memorized and sometimes when I'm frustrated or sad I remember it and recite it. It makes you more real to me. Sometimes it feels like it was all a dream. Well expect a call soon. And Logan, I do love you. Yeah so I said it go ahead and get all excited now just don't break anything jumping for joy.  
  
Hannah is leaving,  
  
Max 


	6. Annapolis, Max my name is Max

Chapter 6: Annapolis, Max my name is Max. 6/7  
  
  
  
"Alec, why are you doing this?" I ask from behind my blindfold.  
  
"Well I know how much you missed your bike so..." he says taking my blindfold off. I am suddenly very glad I'd played along with his little game.  
  
"Alec, How did you?..." I ask in amazement as I make my way over to the bike. It really is my bike. I can tell my baby from a million like her.  
  
"Well it wasn't easy let me tell you. But I figured it was the least I could do."  
  
"Little Lost Alec has grown a heart? I'm gonna have to get a reporter out here or something cause this is major world news."  
  
"You better watch it those are some nice wheels and I wouldn't be apposed to just keeping them." he jokes with me. Alec and I have been hanging out together for a while now; he isn't as bad as I once thought. Being out here has changed him. I guess the world does that to people.  
  
"That isn't all Max. There is someone I think you should meet."  
  
I keep playing that moment over in my mind. I have my bike again. Part of my small little world has being returned to me. But that was the least of my surprises.   
  
I remember once wanting to rip Alec to shreds for what he did to us. Early this afternoon I was kissing him.   
  
Alec found the cure.   
  
  
  
  
  
It has been two months since her last letter. And after a letter like that I can't wait for her call. I remember running over to Jam Pony as soon as I finished reading it and hounding O.C. for Max's number. She blew me off telling me that until she got the word from Max she couldn't give it to me.   
  
Those two sure know how to drive a man crazy; they made me wait three weeks before giving it to me. I had it memorized before I got home and five minutes later it was programmed into my phone. And now a month, a week, and six hours later I'm still sitting by the phone waiting for her call. Wasn't that supposed to be the girl's job? Reversing the roles however was something Max excelled at so I just tagged along with it.  
  
Much as I would love to honor her wishes if she doesn't call soon I am going to drive out there and break down her door. (I had tracked her down, a half hour after getting home and programming her number into my phone)  
  
The phone rang and my heart stopped.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey. Me hitting you back."  
  
"Max."  
  
"Logan."  
  
"So..."  
  
"Anyways..." Ok so our conversation hasn't been that intelligent up to this point but I am still melting over the sound of her voice.  
  
"Anyone ever tell you, you have the sexiest voice in the world?"  
  
"Well Zach used to... and then there was this guy I used to know, he told me that I had the most singularly beautiful face that he'd ever seen."  
  
"Really? Do I know this guy? Cause he's making me incredibly jealous."  
  
"I think you two might of met sometime. I got your gift. Bast, nice touch."  
  
"Well I thought so. Besides you left it and I figured you might want it."  
  
"I'm still waiting for the surprise late night visits."  
  
"Well I considered it then thought you might think I was coming on too strong. I remember last time you accused me of being bent."  
  
"True...Do you still know everything about me too?"  
  
"No...But I'm more then willing to learn."  
  
"So I was thinking about maybe dropping by for dinner tonight."  
  
"Yeah? Well that would be nice. I'd love to have you as always. Hope too quiet for you?"  
  
"See I knew you knew where I was. O.C. kept telling me that you had no clue. But I told my sista that my shorty is ten steps ahead of the ten step program."  
  
"Your shorty?"  
  
"Only if you don't mind a genetically engineered killing machine for a girlfriend."  
  
"No, I mind. But I wouldn't mind having my cat burglar back; there are some bad guys that need to be taught a lesson. And I wouldn't mind having Max back either."  
  
"Hmm just Max and your cat burglar. I don't know if that is gonna work for me."  
  
"We can throw in some kissing if you want, maybe some candle light dinners, bike rides through the streets of Seattle, I'd even go to the needle with you once and awhile if you wanted."  
  
"Conquering heights, why Logan Cale you would do that for little ol' me. I'm breathless."  
  
"Well I figure it's the least I can do."  
  
"Will there be chess?"  
  
"I don't know you beat me pretty bad last time I don't know if my prides recovered yet."  
  
"Please. Pretty please."  
  
"Did I mention the incredibly sexy nature of your voice yet?"  
  
"Maybe. You didn't answer my question though."  
  
"Yeah there will be chess."  
  
"Great I'm in. I'll see ya in five." she said hanging up the phone.  
  
"Max wait..." I plead to the dial tone. Hanging up I try again.  
  
"The number you have dialed has been disconnected....." No it couldn't be. I try again and still the same message repeats in my ear. I am just about to give up hope when I hear someone picking the lock. 


	7. Seattle, it's where I hang my hat

Chapter 7: Seattle it's where I hang my hat. 7/7  
  
  
  
I was incredibly nervous placing the call to Logan's. A week ago I was getting my bike back and my life back. A week ago I was talking to a scientist who was once again altering my DNA and cleaning my system of the nasty retrovirus Manticore had given me as an early birthday present.  
  
It was a very painful and unpleasant process I do not wish to remember.   
  
As I stand by this phone I know that my life stands in the balance. This phone call will determine if I stay in Seattle or if I go back to Hope or head somewhere completely different.   
  
I am not about to pretend that everything will be ok. I've been gone for almost two years and in my book that is more then reason to give up. I know that people change. And I know that I have changed. If Logan doesn't want me anymore then I won't stay in Seattle. I can't. I haven't changed that much.  
  
So when it is been decided that he will still be my Eyes Only, I jump at the chance and run the rest of the way to his apartment, skipping the elevator ride. I want nothing more then to run into his arms.   
  
But I pause at his door, uncertain, as fear grips my heart. Could I really do this?  
  
  
  
Max. The thought runs through my head. It has to be Max. I am not crazy. She has come back to me.   
  
I run to the door and stop abruptly. Changing my mind I head over to my computer and will myself to sit down. It takes every ounce of strength I have to keep me in this seat as she makes her way into my apartment.  
  
"I see your back at it. Rockin the boat." she says calmly.  
  
"Somebody's got to." I play back.  
  
"I would have come sooner but...I didn't, How are you doing?"  
  
"Not in any pain anymore." I edit my line.  
  
"I'm sorry." funny how our conversation of last time still seems to work.  
  
"My mother used to say, 'The universe is right on schedule. Everything happens the way its suppose to."  
  
"You believe that?" I finally turn around to face her  
  
"I've never been much for trying to figure out why bad things happen. I just know they do. So, the job's trying to figure out how to deal with the consequences..."  
  
"How does a Manticore scientist in Annapolis with a cure sound?" she asks. I'm sure my jaw hits the ground.  
  
"It sounds like we should head toward Annapolis." I finally manage.  
  
"Nah. I miss the rain here. It does something for my hair and skin." she says coming up to me and touching my cheek. "Besides you promised me dinner and chess." I return her gesture feeling her silky smooth cheek under my hand and almost dying of ecstasy from it.  
  
"I promised you something else too."  
  
"What was that, I can't remember." she toys with me as I pull her closer down onto my lap.  
  
"This..." I whisper in her ear then kiss her cheek. "And this..." I whisper again and kiss her eyelids. "And this..." I say kissing her nose.  
  
"Logan?" she questions pulling back.  
  
"Hmm." I answer not wanting to wake up from this dream I am in.  
  
"What about this?" she questions then meets my lips with a passion and fire two years of being apart couldn't quench. The fire that lights her heart ignites mine and we are lost in its warmth. Basking in its eternal flame. She has come back to me.  
  
Finally breaking away from her intoxicating lips. I sit back and smile. Her returned smile lights up the corners of my dark little life.  
  
"I'm always careful." She says almost silently. I choke on a lump that has formed in my throat.  
  
"Max?" I question getting lost in her melting chocolate eyes.  
  
"Hmm?" she answers back just as lost in my eyes as I am in hers.  
  
"Luke said to tell Hannah he loved her." I put in not breaking my stare.  
  
"I know. And Max loves Logan too." she answers unphased. One day I will tell her that I love her too but for now Hannah and Luke are going to have to stick around. I never thought that she was going be the first one to tell me because I never thought that we would actually say it to each other's faces. Letters are one thing. You can lie in letters. You can say things you aren't exactly sure about. You can create other people to say them for you. I know Max is fire and dangerous. I can get hurt; I have in the past. But I need her.  
  
"Max, be careful." I plead with her.  
  
"I will Logan, I will." 


End file.
